A Conversation with Tammy Z: A Modern Troubadour

Tammy Zappier Interview: 28 August 2010

Next Coffee Co.
19420 N 59^th Avenue,
Glendale, Arizona, 85308

Recorded on Blackberry Bold 9700 Voicenotes

Transcription by Robin Scott Johnson

Name of her band: "That Zap Band" (Prev.) “Tammy Z n Company” or “Cover Me”
Tammy Zappier
Age: 32
From: Phoenix, Arizona
Genre: Variety; oldies, surf, country, folk.
Instruments: Celebrity Ovation, Takimene

Tammy wore her usual attire of blue jeans and a curve accenting top, with no makeup, and her hair straight and neat.

For anyone interested in up and coming talent in the Phoenix area, they should look up Tammy Zappier, an inspiring young singer-songwriter whose lyrics and charismatic attitude lend themselves well to the coffeehouse scene—for now.   Besides entertaining and interesting originals

(Interview Transcript)

RSJ:  Growing up, what sort of music did you listen to?

TZ:  I was FORCED to listen to oldies nonstop, everywhere we drove with my parents: it was Beach Boys, the Temptations, Sha-na-na’s.  I didn’t start listening to my own music until probably like my freshman year in high school, I started listening more to alternative

RSJ: Did you identify with the musicians themselves or the lyrics or both?

TZ: Both actually, it was the music first I connected with

RSJ: When did you first lean to play?

TZ: I picked up the guitar when I was 16, but didn’t make a serious effort to learn until I was 20!

RSJ: When did you initially feel the passion to perform?

TZ: I have always had a passion as a performer for being in front of people from a super young age.

RSJ: When you write, do you endeavour to make your words applicable to the listener’s life?

TZ: No, I write more for me, and I find that people connect to what I’m saying or they don’t; and either one is okay with me, I’m just giving a message of whatever I’m feeling, at the time, when I write something.

RSJ: So basically, you write from the heart, and not from some formulaic way, and not based on some sort of music theory.

TZ: Yeah, it’s whatever pops in my head, and I’ll improvise and make something up on the spot; and if I like it, cool, I’ll actually make it a point to write it down, and hopefully remember it later, and then go from there.

RSJ: Is it Difficult to work full time in a field outside of music, and still have enough time to create?

TZ: ooh that’s a good question, I would say it is can be really challenging, because I would say it can be really challenging, because there will be times when I’m at my full time job and a song POPS in my head and I really wanna just stop what I’m doing and grab my guitar and play and I can’t.  So yeah, it can be really challenging at times.

RSJ: Along that same line: Have you ever dreamed of a song, and then written it down when you’ve awoken?

TZ: Yes. Yes, I’ve done that a couple of times actually, I’ve had like a melody, or I’ve had words come to me, um, and then the whole song would come after that.

RSJ: Can you give an example of this?

TZ: I can actually, there’s a song called “Stories” that I wrote, and it’s a song where a—just talking about life in general, everyone’s got a story, and we’re all connected, and it’s just a song that came to me when I was sleeping, and I woke up the next morning and I wrote it.

RSJ: Do a lot of your songs have a common theme?

TZ:  Life in general, um, some of them are love songs, some are experiences in life, some of them are recalling memories of what it felt like to experience something for the first time.

RSJ: When did you first perform in front of stranger and where?

TZ: Perform in general, in high school, and in choir, but actual singing and song-writing, I performed at an Open Mic Night, at Fatsos Pizza on a Thursday.

RSJ: Where is Fatso’s Pizza?

TZ: It’s over on 32^nd and Thunderbird.

RSJ: Were you afraid?

TZ: I was VERY afraid, I was hoping they wouldn’t throw tomatoes and plates and pizza (laughing).

RSJ: How long did that last…as far as… over consecutive performances?

TZ:  The nervousness?  Oh I still sometimes get very afraid when I’m playing in front of people, I’m always nervous I’m going to miss a chord or forget a word or worse yet, squish my thumbs together and come up with something completely awful!

RSJ: Do you like to write solo or collaborate with a co-writer on your songs?

TZ:  I love both; I love collaboration, because I still consider myself very new to writing, and what anyone else knows better than me, I absorb like a sponge, and it can only add to what I do. And then, as far as writing words and stuff, I can be pretty wordy, so it’s kinda nice for someone to say, “Hey, if you switch that word, and say this instead, that might be kind of cool,” so I’m a mixture of both.

RSJ: How do you honestly feel about covers?

TZ:  I like to make covers my own.  There’s something to be said to sticking to an original format, so people recognize what it is, but there’s also something to be said about really taking it to that level  that only you as a musician can really take it to and make it part of you.

RSJ: When you’re performing live, have you ever have a hard time remembering lyrics, chords, or notes?

TZ:  (chuckles) All the time, all the time! I used to joke around when I would first start an original song going, “the nice thing about playing this, is if I mess up, you have no idea. Yeah, so I’ll just keep playing.”

RSJ: Do you think the management in coffee houses, open mics, and performances nights, should ask people tom keep their voices down during performances?

TZ:  Hmmm, I don’t think the general public has an understanding of what an open mic night is all about,  so, unless you’re a musician driven crowd, and you’re shushing everybody, it’s kinda hard, I mean, out of respect for the performer, yeah, that’d be really nice, but realistically, that’s probably not going to happen.

RSJ: What is the worst audience experience you’ve had?

TZ: Well luckily, I’ve survived all the tomato throwing.  I have no stains on my clothes, so that’s a good thing.  The worst experience, probably was I felt that during the performance I was messing up time and time again on the same song and I was forgetting words and then I forgot chords and I had to keep going and I felt like everybody noticed my mistakes, but then I realized it was okay, when people were clapping and cheering for me at the end that I made it through alive. 

RSJ: So would that also be the best experience as well as the worst, or was there a best one as well that kind of shines through in your mind?

TZ:  I think my best experience wasn’t actually a performance; it was something that happened after a performance.  I performed at biker bar during an open mic night…this is over at Steel Horse Saloon, which is now closed…and I performed, and I hadn’t been there for several months, and I showed up again, and a biker walked up to me going, “Hey could you play that one original song,” and that was to me, the fact that they remembered me, after just that one time, requesting an original song, I was just—I was floored by that—that was awesome.

RSJ: How do you feel about language in your music? Do you feel free to use words that some may find objectionable; or do you self censor yourself?

TZ:  I think it’s a combination, it depends on my mood, and if I’m feeling very passionate about something I censor nothing.  You know, if it’s kind of just an easy song, I’m not really to be jagged or nasty anyways, it’s not my demeanor, so I don’t…there’s maybe one song where I actually curse, and it’s actually where I am taking someone else’s words and throwing it into a tune.  

RSJ: Do you prefer acoustic to electric?

TZ:  Yes I do…

RSJ:  --and why’s that?

TZ: I dunno, I think that acoustic to me just sounds so much more intimate, it sounds raw and natural.  And the electric, you can beef it up, and completely change it, and even emulate acoustic with electric, but acoustic, when you play it’s all you’ve got.

RSJ:  Do you use either one of your guitars more often than the other?

TZ: Probably my Ovation, and at this point, it’s because I haven’t restrung my Takemeni.

RSJ: What can you tell me about your Ovation, why you like it?

TZ: I’m just comfortable with this one,  I really like playing my Ovation, and it’s pretty to look at…

RSJ: How does it feel, compared to other guitars?

TZ: Compared to other guitars it feels like it’s going to fall out of your hands, unless you’re used to the back of it, cos' the back of it is so curved, and is so much smaller than a typical Takameini or Guild, but I like it, it’s nice and light weight, and well balanced for me.

RSJ: What is your dream, how far would you like to go in the industry?

TZ:  I would love to write songs, and have other famous people do them. AND, I would like to have my own Library of songs myself, to be able to go out and play for people, whether it’s just from a story telling aspect, or just anything really, I would just be so happy to turn on the radio and hear someone singing my song, OR better yet hear me singing my song on the radio, that would be really cool.

RSJ: When you’re not composing, practicing, or playing, what do you like to do for fun?

TZ: I like to watch Myth Busters, I love Myth Busters, Adam if you’re listening (reading, Tammy, sorry), to this, you’re awesome!

RSJ: Do you like the original cast or the new people that are on that show?

TZ:  The new people are okay, but I like Adam and Jamie.

RSJ: Exactly

TZ: Adam and Jamie are awesome

RSJ: They are the best.

TZ: I like them, and I play on the computer a lot, and yep, I admit I’m a computer dork, and I like playing with my animals.

RSJ: You have a parrot and a dog and a cat…

TZ: I have one parrot, her name is Pepper, I have one cat, his name is Patton, and I have three dogs, Indie, which is short for Indian, and Cowboy

RSJ: The music industry has been turned upside down with the introduction of digital media and storage; what are the drawbacks of this, or do you see it as beneficial to the new artist or counterproductive?

TZ: I think it’s a double edged sword, I see it as, piracy is a lot easier with it, but at the same time, I also see the advantages of getting your music out to places you would have never been able to before, with the use of .mp3s versus having to get a whole CD together and go crazy mailing that and campaigning on the Internet is a lot cheaper than flying over to India and doing a concert.

RSJ:  True…How do you feel about copyright infringement, specifically and People illegally downloading .mp3 files and albums?

TZ: It’s stealing from someone’s ability I think, it’s taking money out of their mouth and meh…

RSJ: People don’t understand that, do they?  They just think that it’s the record companies that they’re taking, but it’s the artists, right? They won’t create anymore music will they if people won’t pay for it?

TZ: Well, I don’t know about the creation, like it wouldn’t stop me from creating, but it would definitely deter me from advertising what I’ve created … in an Internet format.

RSJ: Very good point.

RSJ: Have drugs or alcohol ever played a part in your creative process?

TZ: Nope… I’m probably the world’s most boring musician, I drink maybe twice a year and that’s at home, and I don’t do drugs, unless Tylenol counts…

RSJ:  It does, it’s very bad…

TZ: I know!   Put the Pill box down! (Laughing)

RSJ: Do you have a lot of support from your family and friends regarding your musical aspirations?

TZ:  Yes I have, they come to quite a lot of my shows, and they will give me feedback all the time and I love it.

RSJ: Would you ever tell a personal secret in a song?

TZ: Yes, and actually I have, (maniacal) Ha-HAH…

RSJ: Would you like to elaborate on that? I didn’t even write down a follow up question…

TZ: (Same maniacal Ha-Hah), Well there’s a song where I’m telling how I’m truly feeling at the moment about someone I was dating at the time, and I played it right for them, and it just went right over their heads.

RSJ: Curly Simon did that too…

TZ: Did she?

RSJ: (speaking lyrics casually) you’re so vain?

TZ: Oh, yeah.

RSJ: You probably think this song is about you… and nobody actually knows who it was about, Maybe Bo Derrick or James Taylor…

TZ: that’s too funny…

RSJ: Um, we’re nearly out of questions actually...Any advice for people who want to perform, but don’t think they’re “ready?”

TZ: If you waited to the point where you thought you were ready, you will never, ever, ever play out, because you’ll never think you’re ready enough. So just dive in, be yourself, write from the heart, if you can connect with your audience in your own writing, great, if not, that’s okay, the music is meant for you, and whoever is going to respond to it in a positive way, that’s awesome.

RSJ: Well that’s it, that’s the end of the interview…Thank you!

TZ: Thank you!

RSJ: Tammy, why should people come hear your music? What are you trying to say?

TZ: People should come hear my music because it makes for a good night out of the house and it is a great way to reconnect to the messages in the music.  When I perform, I write whatever I was thinking at the time; people can connect with at least one or two of the messages that I have in my music, or the emotions behind the music.

Tammy Zappier can be found on Twitter at @Tammyzmusic and on Facebook (http://Facebook.com/tammyzmusic), That Zap Band performs regularly at clubs, coffee houses, and events in and around the Phoenix area.  Check her out, you’ll have a great time, and eat up every note and riff you meet.

A Year After My Father's Death

A year ago I was in Phoenix, it was the day following my father's agonizing death in a hospice.  I took the photo above of my ex-friend Trianna texting her girlfriend from the passenger seat of my 1988 Mitsubishi Pajero.  At the time, she and Brian were the only anchors I had to my sanity.  I had just witnessed something truly horrifying, the way we let people die... The following is an except from my diaries from that day...

WARNING: The following account is potentially disturbing.

[He would lay in his death bed for over forty-eight hours, his mouth yawning agape sucking in the precious air again and again. His body temperature would drop low and then suddenly elevate and make him sweat. Parts of his body, such as near his toes would turn blue. His eyes would open slightly and then close. I sat next to him and listened to music and talked to him wondering what was going on in his mind as he slept and trying to suppress my revulsion at modern method of death by forced starvation and dehydration.  I had always imagined that to die in this way would simply be like falling into a deep repose after a hard day, but this was not the case.

Julia left a few hours before he died, and that was probably for the best. She had never really loved my father and I think she was only there to satisfy her conscience. Obviously my father trusted her, as he included her in his will and gave her a dominant role in the event that his estate needed to be settled, having said that, he had made it clear that if she was not there or not  willing that that would be my responsibility. She’d done back to Montana to return to work.. the practical thing.. I’d stayed in Phoenix at my father’s side to walk him to the boatman and pay his fare: The right thing.  I was thinking about staying in the guest room another night as the six post meridian hour approached, and had momentarily left his room to check my email, but had not reached the half way point down the hall when the nurses began walking towards me, “You’d better get back there.” One of them said to me. I turned and sprinted back to the room. There were two of them there, on one side of them. I went to the opposite side of the bed. My father’s breath had finally slowed from its rapid-fire, machinegun, hyperventilation of the past forty eight hours. 

The head nurse looked at me, “Stethascope,” she said.

“I don’t have mine,” the other nurse replied not realizing that she had been talking to me.

I didn’t hesitate, however, and put the bell of the stethacope over my father’s heart. Thump, thump, Thump--.  And there was no more. 

“It’s stopped. I just heard his heart stop.” I said, looking at the head nurse.   

There was no pause or change in her blank expression as she withdrew her stopwatch and took note of the time as she started the unit.  My father’s lungs continued to strain and breath to give oxygen to bloodcells that were no longer moving throughout his body.  After about a minute, his breathing arrested, and she clicked the stop watch and began it again.  Two or three minutes then passed and my father’s head moved slightly, and he exhaled very loudly: the death rattle… or his spirit leaving… or I don’t know.. but his face immediately changed, turning an ashen grey in hue and becoming forever still. 

“Would you like a moment alone?” Asked the nurse. 

I nodded that I would, and she and the other nurse left the room and closed the door. 

Three separate feelings or thoughts hit me simultaneously at this point: I would not take a photograph of my father’s body.  Maybe his soul HAD been with his body when he died.  I was now free from the shackles of his judgment if I failed at life, or rather I felt he gave me a piece of his confidence when he left that I had never felt before, and that I could stop waiting to live up to his highest expectations.  I said a private prayer, and then left the room, letting the nurse’s know that I was finished.]

So over a year later, and where is that so-called confidence? Where are all of the promises I made to myself and to my ailing father as he died? I think the only thing I can think he'd like was the fact that I'm engaged to be married, but am not sure he'd like the fact that I quit my job before I had sufficient resources to survive while starting a new business.  

Last night as I lay in bed, I wondered if I was murdered in my sleep if I should care.  I decided I should not, and went to sleep, just not sure if my brain is capable of getting me out of the mess. Maybe I fucked around too much when I was younger--maybe I'm damaged.  Perhaps I'm not as smart as I thought I was.

She's not as friendly as she looks... a wolf in sheep's clothing

Brian, helpful a always, works on my car.

A distorted image in my dad in the ICU in Tempe

North Platte Citizens Welcome 1st Measurable Snowfall of Winter of 2010

 

NP Enjoys First Snow Accumulaton Monday

by Robin Scott Johnson

NORTH PLATTE, NEBRASKA: Residence of North Platte were greeted by their first major snowfall of the Winter season on Monday morning.

Shortly before dawn, snow began moving in from the west, accumulating to a a half inch to an inch deep in North Platte. As the wind picked up later in the morning, drifts formed, some up to six inches in the higher elevations north of town, and around the edges of buildings and houses in and around downtown.

Intersections became extremely slick, with motorists fighting to slow and stop their vehicles at traffic control signals and stop signs.

Not all residents, such as this man, were prepared for the cold, windy, and snowy conditions.
Photographer: Robin Scott Johnson

Looking south on Dewey into the downtown area.
Photographer: Robin Scott Johnson

Looking North towards the grain elevators and Fox Theater in North Platte.
Photographer: Robin Scott Johnson

AJ's daughter flies back to Denver.. her mother in tears.

Cierra boards the Beechcraft 1900D in North Platte for her flight home.
Photographer: Robin Scott Johnson

Today was the day my fiance was dreading. Her daughter was leaving town after an all-to-brief visit for the American Thanksgiving Day Holiday to return to her father in Denver.  I knew the day would be tough on AJ, but I had no idea how tough.  I snapped a few photos of the happenings at North Platte's airfield.

Cierra and AJ at the Airport Inn at Lee Bird Field in North Platte, Nebraska

Photographer: Robin Scott Johnson

 

 

                   AJ took Cierra's departure harder than I expected.

Large Sinkhole Swallows Workers' Holiday

by Robin Scott Johnson

North Platte, Nebraska: A large sinkhole, probably caused by Wednesday night's extremely cold temperatures, opened up on Cottonwood Street and 4th, after a water main ruptured early in the morning on Thanksgiving Day in a quiet neighborhood west of the downtown area.

City maintenance workers closed a short section of Cottonwood Street between 3rd and 4th Streets, and opened up a fire hydrant for nearly an hour to relieve pressure on the break and to prevent the hole from expanding.

When one of the workers on the crew was asked how he liked working Thanksgiving Day, he replied only with a look of sadness and put his hands up in the air in silent resignation to the task at hand.

Introduction to "Have Camera--Will Travel!" by Robin Scott Johnson

I... I hate beginning any bit of writing with a personal pronoun, but I must confess that as I type this the crown of my skull and upper vertebrae are spiking with pain after my little videographic adventure today, but I digress, I really ought to tell you who I am and what you'll be reading about in my blog.. then will get to the video I produced and starred in today.

 My name is Robin Scott Johnson, and I am a photographer in North Platte, Nebraska. This is a new professional career for me, as up until April, I had done this on a strictly pro bono publico basis for friends, family, associates, and the curious world around me.  Videography comes into play as I have always idolized adventure travel documentary directors such as Alby Mangles and Jacques Cousteau and in my imagination, I am just like them, but without the money and/or scientific expertise.

  To compare my life to a great cliche, I feel a bit guilty, but indeed my life has indeed been a roller coaster.  Born in Sutton Coldfield, West Midlands in the Unite Kingdom, I was dragged around the world by my father and family, first to Australia where I lived until the late 1980s, and then to Pennsylvania, Texas, Arizona, Hawaii, California, Montana, Pennsylvania again, Arizona again, California, New Hampshire, and finally Nebraska, where I found a career as an intercontinental trucker, shuttling freight from the central United States to all points in the world's second largest country, from the top of Vancouver Island to St. John, Newfoundland.  A few years ago, however, I began to realize that I was wasting my talents, my dreams, and the hours, days, and years of my life on a career I had long since stopped enjoying. Come to think of it, I never really got used to trucking, it simply became so automatic that it felt like "my life."  I'd get up, drive, go to sleep, and drive again... days off were spent taking pictures and making movies.

  For a companion since 2003, I've had a large black cat called Lava, who was even featured on Animal Planet's Cats 101 programme, when a producer for the show in Boston saw my videos on the popular video sharing site Youtube.com.  A producer flew down and met me at Lakes End, Utah and a film crew contracted out of Salt Lake City traveled with us into eastern Utah, before wrapping up for the day.  It was real work, and Lava the Cat has fans all over the place.. once a few rough looking bikers rode up to us near the Louisiana state line in Arkansas and asked if that was the cat from Animal Planet, laughed, and then said that they were huge fans of him.. even had me take their picture with him with their cell phone cameras.

 In December of 2009, my father died after a long illness, and I contemplated buying a real DSLR and getting out of trucking forever, I had always thought he had some sadness that in 33 years I had not amounted to anything more than a lorry driver. When he was 33, he was a high ranking executive in the international division of Sperry Univac, a massive and now non existent computer company.  He had a pilot's licence, three children...even an American Express card.  Me? I was a truck driver with an old Pajero, a black cat, mostly broke, no credit, and at the end of my 33rd failed relationship with a woman. It occured to me that he might actually think I was gay or something, not that he would have been judgmental, but I'm not, nor did I blame the women in my life for causing the failure of my many relationships... I was the one gone all the time, and often times, I was bored with them within the first week, if not the first night.

 I wrestled with the idea of moving to Phoenix again and starting over, starting a record label called Dark Flare Records, but I had a fallout with my then business partner, and former best friend Trianna. Someone who can only describe as having a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde complex...and so I resumed trucking after taking six weeks off to handle my dad's estate and resumed trucking.

Sometime around March I found myself back in Phoenix, sitting in my friend Brian's borrowed Jeep Wrangler when I found myself communicating with a reporter back in Nebraska by the name of AJ Williams.  I sat in front of the QT convenient store in Chandler, with a pint of Ben and Jerry's on the passenger seat, a lit fag in the ashtray, and exchanged a half dozen e-mails.  My thought was that she was out of my league, and too successful to be interested in someone like me--a nobody--who at that moment was on the precipice of being nowhere and even further in the rut I was already in.  Then the e-mails stopped and I figured my chances were as good as done with the woman... wasn't surprised.

A month or so later the e-mails returned.. and soon she seemed eager to meet me.  To make a very long story short, we did.. and it clicked in such a way as I've never had happen before.  A month ago I asked her to marry me and presented her with an engagement ring.. I can't say I've ever seen anyone happier.  So that's that. I'm engaged.. and will be married in March in Las Vegas in what I hope will be a classy event.

So my current career, a professional photographer.  The trucking ended on 1 October '10 as AJ and I started a photography studio and company called RAJ Photography Studios (R[obin]AJ). 

I spent all of my money, including cashing in my 401K and put it into the business and feel somewhat satisifed that we're doing it right.  I have friends on Twitter that I really not only respect but sincerely like, such as @janewynn who have be not only supportive, but genuinely helpful!  AJ is still working her tail off at the TV station, but has been instrumental in the thinktank department, and I have high hopes that by this time next year we'll be in the black on the biz... cross your fingers.

Here are some test shots I've done in the studio that I really like.  I spend a lot of time editing and thinking of different scenarios. Some of the shots were done in studio, others out and about...which obviously are harder because of lighting and other natural and man-made factors.

BTW, the ones of me are self portraits which I used a remote control and the cameras self timer. The only hard part was manually focusing to where my eyes would be.  I use a Nikon D90 currently.

Well enough of that... now this is the video I made today and it's why I'm in agony right now..Click the link..and just wait till the end! LOL.. and thank you for reading my blog.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hSiaxE45Yo&hd=1